Pitstop on the Way to Heaven
by boredwriter272
Summary: Heaven wasn't the first place Buffy ended up. An old friend helps her find her rightful place. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: Joss owns it. I just mess around with it. Please review.

The slayer jumped from the platform, her expression serene. _Death is my gift. _She accepted it now. If it would save Dawnie, her friends, the world, then Buffy was all right with that. There was something to be said for going on the next great adventure.

She hit the portal, writhing in something between pain and ecstasy. The pain was the separation of her soul from her body. Her mortal sacrifice was the toll the portal required for it's closing. Just one crossing.

By the time Buffy's body hit the ground, she was long gone. Her friends sobbed in mourning, but that was behind Buffy now, for she was far far away.

Buffy was in a strange land. It seemed to be an endless desert. No signs of life-or was it deadth or something now. _Was_ Buffy dead now? It didn't feel like it. The slayer-or was it former Slayer?- moved her fingers to her wrist, checking for a pulse. _Do I even know HOW to check pulses? Years of dealing with the undead, how did this never come up? _Nothing seemed to be there, but Buffy really wasn't sure she was doing that right.

In the Hell dimension Buffy had found herself in, a battle was going on for possession of her soul. The powers that be sent an emissary to the Hell God's throne room. The god, Glorificus' brother, Styxlanix, was sitting on a tall throne of gold. The throne next to him, normally the seat of his brother, was empty. The hall was filled with columns carved out of jade.

"I sudgest dat you turn over da slayah to me. " said Kendra, former slayer and assistant to the Powers that Be. She was wearing long flowing robes, toga style.

"What authority do you have in our Kingdom to make this request?" the large being on the throne replied. It seemed like a he, but the being was made of shadows, so it was hard to tell it's gender. Kendra reached into a fold in her robes, and pulled out a scythe. It was silver, and red on most of the blade. From another fold in her robes, she pulled out a scroll. She walked forward a few steps, and placed the scroll in front of Styxlanix. He raised an arm, and the scroll flew through the air to him. "The weapon in your hands is but an illusion. Do you seek to frighten me with your cheap tricks?" shouted the God, his anger concealing an edge of fear.

"As you well know, da scythe is and shall be recovahed. We are outside of time, and I'm well within my rights ta use it." The God sighed, seeming suddenly older. He unrolled the scroll and scanned it.

"And what does an order from the Powers That Be mean to me? Did you forget the whole part where I'm evil? You're going to need a lot more than that to get a slayer out of me." Then Stxylanix laughed.

"Turn da Slayah over, or she will destroy you. I'll help her. Glorificus is dead, you know. Da Slayah is why. Do you want dat fury turned on you? "Kendra smiled. This was her trump card.

"Glorifi-Glory's dead? That's impossible! No mortal could have done it." Styx was sweating (metaphorically speaking) now. _Glory, dead… I wish I'd done it myself. But this girl's a danger to me. As fun as torturing a slayer could be, it's not worth it. _He stretched out his link to his cursed bitch of a sister, and found… nothing. A big gaping whole where she had been. _So it was true. _"Take the slayer and leave my kingdom. No more and no less, do ya hear?"

Kendra inclined her head, her only gesture of respect to the Hell God thus far. "I knew dat you'd seeh sense. You make ah wise choice." Having said her piece, she walked out of the throne room. Once outside, she found herself in the desert that was Styx's Kingdom. She tucked her scythe into the magical "pocket" of her robe. Then, she pulled out a compass that burned with living flame. In flowing script, it was marked Buffy Anne Summers. She flipped it open, and walked purposely in Buffy's direction.

Buffy was getting very tired. She took this as a good sign. _Maybe you have to be alive to be tired?_ Before she even got to this endless desert, she had fought a Hell God and Minions, taken the greatest leap of her life, and angsted endlessly over the fate of her sister and the world. _The hardest thing in this world is to angst in it._ Buffy giggled a little. It had certainly been a long day.

All around her were rolling hills. Every direction looked the same. _Alright, lets try moving forward, see where that gets us. _Moving had to be better than going nowhere, right? Besides, Buffy had to _do_ something. Doing nothing just felt like being useless. _Okay, one foot in front of the other. Maybe there's a hot guy over the next hill on a camel or something. _

Someone or something was coming over the next dune. It was a ways away, but the shape looked female, quite black, and seemed to be wearing a ridiculous greek toga. _Please tell me we don't have to wear togas in heaven. Because that might kill me all over again. _"Hey, you! Toga-wearing-person! I'm kind of lostish here," yelled Buffy. She hurried closer to the dune. As she ran, the shape became more familiar. _Either I'm hallucinating, or I'm very dead, because that looks like Kendra. _"Kendra?" she said quietly, more of a question than a greeting.

The figure coming closer to her gave a nod. "Former Vompire Slayah number 7032, at your service. It has been a long taime, Buffy. "

"We're both dead, aren't we?" asked Buffy. Kendra gave another brisk nod.

"I'm here at the request of da Powahs dat be. I take missions from them. I couldn't really give up slaying, I guess. I'm here to take you to da next place. "

"I'm really hoping this isn't it. Kinda hot and itchy for the other side, huh?, snarked Buffy. "Unless I ended up in hell, which would be totally unfair considering that whole 'died saving the world' thing", she added.

"Dis is hell, Buffy. Something of a second rate Heill demenshun, but it was much worse when Glorificus ran it. But dis is not where you belong. Although, if you wish, you could join me working for the powers. Would you?" Kendra sounded almost wistful.

"I'm so done with sacred duties that it's not even fun. Just tell me we don't walk around with harps and sandals in heaven. Although it's not like I wouldn't look good with a harp." Buffy trailed off. "Alright, I'm ready to go." Kendra nodded, almost sadly.

"Take my hand. " Kendra held her hand out.

"Could this be any more clichéd?" asked Buffy. Kendra just smiled. Slowly, with a smile, Buffy grasped her hand. And in a flash of light, Buffy was gone.


End file.
